Lee Raffel is a family therapist, who I found looking up other things. I found this on her website:

Predictors of an Ugly Divorce

The 10 most common behaviors that incite retaliation and precipitate an ugly divorce follow:

1. Stay suspicious of your mate and expect the worst possible outcome--and you are likely to get it.
2. Blame your spouse--your mortal enemy--but not yourself.
3. Accept no responsibility for the demise of your marriage.
4. Remain defensive, inflexible and controlling.
5. Insist on winning every argument at all costs.
6. Be unwilling to cooperate with your soon-to-be ex.
7. Refuse to communicate with your spouse.
8. Talk only through your lawyer and remain inaccessible.
9. Seek to punish and get revenge.
10. Get embroiled in a custody battle.

When couples operate within the margins of heated antagonism, how can there be any hope for a good divorce?

Wow! We've concentrated mainly on the sacramental aspects of marriage, divorce and annulment, and well we should. But these are helpful signposts for a relationship with our exes or soon-to-be exes (ST Bexes) that bear noting. Any one of those behaviors could exist in any of us, temporarily or permanently, I don't care how holy we're trying to be.