A lot has been recently written about Catholic marriage nullity; however, it is hard to hear a personal account from someone who actually lived through one, since most of the information comes from the members of the Church or from specialists on the issue. I am neither, but I believe that my personal account of the procedures that lead to declare a Roman Catholic marriage invalid will be helpful for those interested in the topic either by curiosity or by personal need.

First of all, let me tell you that an Annulment is not in any way "Catholic divorce". Divorce is a civil procedure in which the state declares that a couple is no longer legally bound to each other, whilst a declaration of nullity actually states, in the words of the Tribunal in Canada, "a Catholic Declaration of Nullity states that, in the eyes of the Church, there was no true bond ever established." Many can be the motives for this state, ranging from simple immaturity to family pressure, so common when an unplanned pregnancy takes place.

Before I state my case, let me screen off any possibility of argument against the Roman Catholic Church's authority to declare a marriage null and void, since, according to the New Testament, "what God has joined together, let man not separate (Matthew 19,6)." Well, earlier in the same book, Jesus tells Peter, the first leader of the Church that "whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven (Matthew 16,19)", thus leaving no doubt of the authority laid by Jesus himself so long ago. Also, children bore by a couple in this situation will not be considered illegitimate, since the law of the Church , again quoting the Canadian tribunal, "expressly states that 'children conceived or born of a valid or putative (i.e. at first considered valid and later declared null) marriage are legitimate' (canon 1137)."

It was in October 1996 that I decided to seek the declaration of nullity of my first and disastrous marriage, which had ended in 1994, during the World Cup. I had not acted earlier simply because I was unaware such a possibility existed. I drove to the local Ecclesiastic Tribunal and stated my case to their Vice-President, a priest who had been a student of mine some time earlier. He told me to prepare a petition telling everything about that relationship from the moment it started, the wedding, the years together and the circumstances which led to the separation. I was also required to name five witnesses to my defense.

A few weeks later I presented the manuscript with the whole story. It read like one of these tell-all autobiographies with all the sad parts added to it (in some countries, the petition is drafted by the tribunal after an interview. It was not my case). I had to say everything, from my own troubled adolescence and my parents' marital problems (they divorced in the late eighties) and my ex-wife's unexpected pregnancies and psychological problems and of course all the mess throughout the years the troubled relationship lasted. It was rather painful to put everything on paper, for it brought back scarred heartache, but in a way it was good to let it out. Call it a form of therapy.

My next step was to call my ex in. She refused to collaborate since she felt offended by some of the content of the petition, specially the use of the expression "adultery" (religiously correct) pointed at her. The Ecclesiastical judge, after some time, decided to let the process go on without her participation and called the witnesses. They were some of my own relatives, friends and even an acquaintance who was a close friend of my former wife from teenage to adulthood (they had already drifted apart then, but I was able to reach this important witness through another former student of mine). All of them were very helpful, and then the next stage was to get the views of the "prosecutors" and "defense lawyers" of the case. On December 1998, a favorable sentence was given on the grounds that my failed marriage was celebrated under family pressure and also due to the fact that both parties were (at time of marriage) too immature to assume such a Sacrament.

Early in 1999 the whole stack of documents were sent to Salvador (Bahia), where the tribunal there set out to study the whole case all over again (no witnesses this time) and confirm (or not) the sentence given by our local tribunal. This is done to avoid any form of local bias, such as politics or friendship. Fortunately the sentence was confirmed. I am now considered, before God, free as a bird. Had it not been, the process would fly on to the Vatican and then God knows when it would return.

In short, here are some procedures if a Catholic wants the seek a Declaration of Nullity from the Roman Catholic Church. Keep in mind that procedures may vary from country to country.

1. Consult you local parish. They will counsel you on how to proceed.

2. Once oriented, be ready to tell everything. Conceal nothing, since every detail is important.

3. Be patient. I had to wait for three long, tedious years before I was free again.

It is never too late to remind the reader that the desire to remarry is not in any way a requirement to get an an annulment. the seekers might wish to remain single for the rest of their lives also have the right to have their cases studied. I state again, a Declaration of Nullity is not "Catholic divorce". It is an official document that tells you that, in the eyes of God, a couple was never actually married. It is also the Church giving you a second chance in life.

See also:

* http://marriage-law.net/D44-The-marriage-Church-Made-Marriage-a-Public-Act.php