Someone on the annulment journey emailed a concern that they could no longer locate their ex-spouse. I had the same concern. I had an address and phone I knew weren't any good, but I did have his parents' last known address and they still googled at it. I provided both during the information-gathering stage and told the tribunal I had nothing more recent. They got his address from his parents.

What I was really worried about was whether the Tribunal was going to use his parents as a go-between. They are no respecters of privacy (I used to put our tax and payroll files in the trunk of my car when they visited and stayed with us) and I had horrible visions of paperwork marked "confidential" being opened and read by them. Since I had to describe them and their family, although I did so without using hateful words, the overall impression wasn't attractive.

No worries, said the Tribunal. They not only would not pass any paperwork through the parents, but they wouldn't even pass any paperwork directly to my ex. He would be welcome to go to his local Tribunal office and read the files there, if he wanted. But the Tribunal only collects information from everyone and only Tribunals have the full files.

I also have the option of going to the Tribunal office and reading my file, with my witness testimonies and his reply. Maybe I'll go down someday, visit the Cathedral and then have a good read and a good cry. Picture their file room: boxes of kleenex on every table.....

He could have refused to respond and I could have proceeded anyway, per the Tribunal. Therefore, they must have a way of working without any input from the other spouse. I bet it takes a lot longer.