I read with interest the comment j'gil posted below about preparation. I was totally irritated early in the annulment process that many of the questions (and I'll post some of the more interesting ones soon) weren't asked of us beforehand. Of course, I realized that my ex could have lied about those, just like he lied when he said he'd never been treated for a mental illness.

But very little was required of us beyond showing up to the pastor's office for four or five meetings. He didn't even ask us to go to Confession, nor ask us to attend Mass. Instead, he brought up some topic and we discussed it for a little while, topics like sharing, like family. It could have been a warm fuzzy Oprah-type show.

That is not to criticize specifically the pastor, who has since gone to Heaven, I imagine. I think he was a moderately pious, low-burning, old guy who wasn't about to get yelled at by any more anxious brides or nutso mothers. He just wanted to make nice and be grateful we cared about getting married in the Church.

We had a required full-day pre-Cana event offered by the Archdiocese of Chicago, held at a very hip downtown parish. That was a little more rigorous, dealing with finances (THAT caused a few tense moments) and birth control (which caused a LOT of eye-rolling). They also actually prayed a little, which bounced right off most of us at the time. We were probably as impervious as the average couple. Boy, now I feel sorry for the people who had to try and teach us blank-eyed amoebas anything at all.

What preparation did any of you have? Any better than ours? The blogs by Fr. Rob Johansen and the other clerical bloggers have taken up this topic and I read with envy their pre-Cana preparation efforts.

Therese Z